My turn for ridicule and laughter. Many years ago, I was 14 I think and reluctantly enrolled in the CCF (Combined Cadet Force) upon my father's insistence. Personally I hated every single minute of the 5 years I was forced to endure. Every summer we had to spend a week at a different army barracks, shooting guns (live ammo - what were they thinking ?) tackling obstacle courses, and doing whatever else regular soldiers were trained to do.
The camp, this one particular year, I have never forgotten, mainly because it left me with a permanent injury - namely I had a front tooth knocked out with the muzzle of a .303 rifle. I was immediately whisked off to an emergency dentist whereupon they performed a root canal (without any freezing I might add). I had hoped that would get me an early return home, but no luck. I was forced to stay on and endure the remainder of the week, only now I was subject to ridicule because I had developed a lisp. When I finally returned home I thought perhaps my father would relent and let me quit the CCF, but that was not to be the case, because apparently my family weren't quitters.
Anyway my regular dentist fitted me with a temporary cap, which was replaced eventually with a permanent crown. Fast forward to now and we are all on vacation, renting a house in Muskoka for a week. A delicious dinner was prepared on our second night and I happily tucked in. However as soon as I bit down on a cob of corn, I felt a snap and out fell the afore mentioned crown. I let out a string of curses, as I spied my errant tooth on the plate in front of me. Sid and Lindsay's immediate reaction, covering their eyes while squealing in unison "Ew, gross". Meanwhile my husband and son didn't believe me until I flashed them a gappy smile, at which time they both fell about laughing. No fucking sympathy from this crowd.
For the next 24 hours, and as it turned out for the rest of the vacation, I was subjected to ridicule and jokes. Sid was determined that I repeat "Sally sells seashells by the seashore" because, no surprise, I again have developed a noticeable lisp. My first thought was to try and replace the crown with the aid of Superglue, but I was concerned that might go awry. Plan B was to hold it in place with chewing gum (which was the fix I used frequently back when I had a temporary cap). Unfortunately that didn't work as well as I remembered, so now the crown is tucked away until I can see my dentist in a weeks time. The people at my dentists office are lovely, and I might add the only ones who have been sympathetic to my predicament, but even they laughed when asking if anyone has called me a hillbilly yet, and I replied that was actually the first thing my asshole of a husband said to me. Other than the jokes, the one constant throughout this, has been the insistence from my family that I craft a blog post, so here it is,
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